No longer did I have the boundless energy of my 20’s, so much time in front of me, hungry and absorbing everything.
No longer was there the urgency of my 30’s, so much to be, to do, and to have, collecting it all, like it was about to disappear.
Somewhere around 40, when I had experienced a bit of everything life had to offer, I sensed an emptiness…
I wanted more but I didn’t know what “more” was. I wore myself out trying to solve that riddle outside of myself. Exhausted and out of balance, I realized I had been consuming far too much of this world and creating far too little in it.
I had stumbled upon midlife.
What of the gifts buried deep in my bones? Gently tugging at me in the quiet moments, that I had put off in hot pursuit of some fleeting external thing?
It is now, I realize I have all that I need, and I will listen to those whispers and let them guide my way.
Today, I will create.
Create time for experience. Create space for meditation. Create food with love. Create space to practice sacred sexuality with my partner. Create something that touches the world.
I feel my bones settling in.
I choose to create vs. consume.
© 2017 ces